UPDATE from LS
Posted on Saturday, April 26, 2008 by oneP3 | (0) Comments
Hello, My name is Katie, I am LS. After 2+ years I am finally divorced. My Ex husband…......who will now be called FH (Former Husband) instead of DH (Dear Husband)....has been abusive, controlling, and had many affairs. It has been a sad and hard few years, he has made this even harder by dragging out the process. I will start to be more honest about the abuse and what I know about his affairs. I want to be real about the pain. ONLY God can carry me, heal me, and make me whole. I know there are many out there that need to hear truth.
This has been a long and hard journey. I have lost friends, made many new ones, and learned so much. It comes back to one thing for me. TRUST. I could not trust my FH, I still can’t. There are days I freak out about all the people he is still fooling….....but I know I can trust God. I rest in that. ALL darkness will be brought into the light….especially for those who ask God to show them truth. I have learned some people would rather not be in the “mess” of messy situations. They would rather stay in the dark and live their clueless life…..not stopping to care for someone who is hurting.
I went to a wedding today of a dear friend. She is the MOST unselfish woman I know. When FH left me she would stay the night at my house, rock my 2 month old most of the night so I could sleep….and then she would get up and go to work!! She babysat for free to give me a break. She cried with me, prayed with me, and just supported me!!! There are many other that know her that have similar experiences. She went to Africa for 6 months…..raised the money herself…did not ask anyone for a dime!!! Long story short, she met a man, with 2 kids, and they got married. She is moving to South Africa. She was so patient and content with what God had for her. She waited on HIM. Now she has a wonderful husband and two GREAT kids. She went to Africa ready and willing to serve…........It was the most beautiful wedding I have ever been too. God was there. The most beautiful thing was knowing that this friend lives for Jesus totally!!! There is something so pure and godly about a person who is willing to sit in the mess with others. It is refreshing and it makes my heart long to be that good, selfless, and caring.
SO. God that is my prayer. Teach me to love well. Teach me how to journey with others. It all comes down to letting the light of Christ shine through me. God help me to do that. As I work through the pain of divorce and starting over. As I raise my boys to be Godly, TRUSTWORTHY men. I feel like this is “New Years” I want to re-write my resolutions. God, do the work you need to in me.
Okay, Thanks for reading my ramblings…..........I hope you can relate and be inspired. Not by me, None of this is me. But Who God can be in you. It is so worth it. You can trust God.
Goodnight dear sisters. You are not alone. Keep walking, keep seeking. Do not merely survive. God will bring beauty out of ashes. Some of that beauty is His reflection in you.
Love, Katie