Dark Days
Posted on Sunday, February 1, 2009 by oneP3 | (0) Comments
Dark Days
By:Katie
WOW…My In box and voice mail have been full lately. All women who are lonely and just need to hear they are going to make it. I so desperately want to say the right words and give you that hope….but if I am honest, most days I don’t have that. I doubt and wonder if God will bring justice. I worry about paying bills. I fear that my ex will hurt me and my kids again. I stress about the damage that has been done to me and my children. I grieve. I get sad and depressed. But I will say this. LET GOD RE-FOCUS your eyes. Fix them on HIM and only HIM. I have scripture all over my house that reminds me He is faithful and He will provide. I have rocks in my room with ALLLLL the times God has spoken and been faithful. Those are my standing stones. I am urging you to cling to Him. Ask for what you need, seek healing and wholeness in Him. Keep calling out to the darkness….He hears you. I promise you that He will not leave you or forsake you. The love He has for you cannot be imagined. The healing He has for you transcends all mental health experts ideas. I know that God is faithful and I want my life to be a picture of his redemption and His grace.
It is so easy to get caught up in what other people think of you and your life and choices. I have fallen into this pit lately. I feel others look at me as stupid, that I married and abusive cheating man. That is a lie from the pit of hell! He started out as a man seeking God who chose his own way. It is sad and I know that God grieves it. I ask daily for God’s eyes to look at my FH….... Knowing that I am also prone to wander from God. We all have the choice daily to live for God or self. Life or Death. We are to be sad and grieve when someone…...someone we love chooses death. But I know that I cannot stay in the grief and I need to be choosing life for myself. It is a practice of refocusing our eyes on Jesus.
Miriam and I laugh as we tell each other to get out of the boat, fix our eyes on Jesus and walk on the water. I always say to her that I am trying, but it feels like Jet Ski’s keep whizzing by causing waves! That is so true of our walk with God…...it is a practice and a focus…..it is choosing to do it.
I love all the women who have been so honest about the pain in their lives. Some of the things that have happened to some of you are so bad and hurtful. I grieve with you sisters. Even in that I thank God for opening my eyes to this kind of pain. I pray that this knowledge helps me to be more compassionate and have more grace for the hurting. I remember asking God to make it clear to me how and where I was to serve others. He has shown me…...it is right here. In the hurt. In the pain. With all of you. Not as someone who is though it and over it. But walking said by side with our eyes on Jesus.
Psalm 31:24
“Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”